Video game

Let’s remember some terrible names of Square Enix video games

Octopath Traveler. Triangle strategy. Speak. These are just a few of Square Enix’s weirdest game titles. But today the Final Fantasy the publisher reminded the world of one of its great names: Varied daily life. The iOS JRPG now has a Switch port. It came out today and it’s still called, well, that. I don’t know what’s going on at Square Enix, but I have many, many questions.

This is not meant to hit Varied daily lifea perfectly serviceable simulacrum of a role-playing game that first appeared on Apple Arcade in 2019. But I question the checks and balances in place at a multi-billion dollar company that’s getting a second chance to reconsider the name and just go, no, keep it.

Here again, Varied daily life is in perfect company. After all, it was the company that brought us the first Final Fantasy X-2and later names like Final Fantasy Type-0. Don’t get me started on the Kingdom Hearts remasters and ports. Whether Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep Final Mix wasn’t enough to melt your brain, consider Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue. And of course, there was this time Square released a JRPG whose name perfectly captured the juxtaposition of intriguing premises and broken gameplay: Infinite discovery.

At the same time, my brain is so Final Fantasy-pounded so much that I barely blink at grotesque like A brave omission. The sentence is so absurd that I no longer even treat the words as they are: it is simply a proper name that could just as well have existed since the birth of the stars. It doesn’t matter that the suites were called Bravely Second: Final Layer (?) and Bravely Default 2 (???).

Turns out Bravely Default was indeed the default. Square followed it up with octopath traveler and, earlier this year, Triangle Strategy. Now Triangle strategyoriginally called Triangle Projectcomes to PC, and octopath traveler gets a sequence: Octopath Traveler 2 (by pouring one for “Octopath Traveler Second” – you never even had the chance). And we still have The DioField Chronicle, Harvestelleand Speak all to come within the next six months.

Thank goodness I’m an adult now and I don’t have to worry about my parents coming to my room asking what I’m playing. But there are people in this world who still need to ask their parents or friends to download these games for them, or walk into a GameStop and say things like, “Is it too late to pre-order?” The DioField ChronicleUh, sorry kid, we’re not that kind of store. Try the pharmacy down the street.